The Stalk and the Nose

Now Playing: Poetry, tra-la-la
Topic: Poems and such


A young man by the name of Bill
Was sitting down to dine
And upon his plate, he saw with a chill
Steak and Carrots with a glass of wine
And once again he looked with fright
At a most unusual sight.

A long green stalk
That looked like a rasp
And smelled not unlike chalk
"Asparagus: Bill said with a gasp,
And he began to balk.

Until an idea
A thought which occurred
A way of digesting the stalks.

He said "I suppose
That with the use of my nose
(no teeth and no tongue to bother)
That with the use of my nose
The asparagus I'll be able to swaller."

Bill picked one up,
While the others did sup,
Sighed one more time
Then shoved.

To his surprise and delight
With much ease and much grace
The stalk slid right in tight
(without much harm to his face)
And without a second thought he took
Another.

Then with a start he started to shudder
And began to whoop, yell, and holler
Saying crazy things using poetry and prose
Because of those veggies lodged in his nose

It when on like this
It seemed never to end
Until they fell out with a hiss
First one stalk - then the other -
Both stalks fell to the floor in front of
His mother.

And down he fell with a gasp
(acting like a weak asp)
Then Bill awoke within three days
Wanting more, still in a haze.


And now for something completely different. This was a high school (1987 or so) poem I came up with - it was for a class, and I was trying to emulate Shel Silverstein. Mr. Brill, the poetry teacher thought it was a great allegorical poem about drugs; I just thought the image of a guy with asparagus in his nose was funny. earthwulf