Boy was I pissed
Now Playing: Non-fiction
Topic: The Rest of the '90's




You abandoned me - first as a girlfriend, then as a friend - "we can't talk for two weeks." Well, i needed somebody during those two weeks - I needed my best friend, but I couldn't turn to her. The evening that you said you couldn't see me for two weeks, that was the last thread for me. My optimism is shredded, my belief in myself is shattered, and my ego utterly destroyed. I needed you far more than you obviously thought - you gave yourself easy excuses "You're handling this extremely well ... maybe you don't care as much as I thought." - FUCK THAT SHIT. I cared and I needed your support, love and care, and I haven't gotten it - not one iota. It hurts me more now than it did a few weeks ago - and I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it. Everyone is tiref hearing about it ... Im tired of thinking about it, it hurts so much. But I can't stop - the pain still sits there, bubblinh to the surface whean I am alone walking in the forest or buying non-fat milk. I used to believe in true love, in romance, in love at first sight ... right now I feel like I believe in cynicism, in selfishness, and in darkness.

No, I don't hate you - I love you too much.

Good Bye.





This was scrawled onto a crumpled piece of notebook paper I found at the bottom of a box. 1996. For a point of reference, I am now happily married to a woman who hasn't shattered my ego and blah blah blah. True Love can exist, wheeee! earthwulf